The Mourning of God’s Mission


But, I’m not far enough along to agree or pass judgment…

My heart-wound raw and gaping.

Because frankly…if I had my way in the world tonight…

I’d alter the anguish of my journey. 

I’d pick a different teacher.

Because on night’s like this…

When all seems lost and dim…

Grief burns a hole through the center of my chest and I want an easier way.

I want to turn back time and cut death off at the pass.

Until I cease my anxious striving…and sit alone with God in the silence of my soul…

Then and only then, do I hear Him faintly whisper,

“You didn’t pick grief.”

“Grief picked you.”

“Just as it is written, ‘FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG; WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED.’ But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.” Romans 8:36-37

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5 Responses to The Mourning of God’s Mission

  1. Micki Ann Harris says:

    Friend. And grief has picked a company of sojourners (so-mourners) to walk alongside.
    Love you.

  2. Bill Robertson says:

    Penny, you have captured just how I feel and have been feeling for the last five years. Every day I wake up and shake my head saying, “I just don’t get it, wife.” I get through the days and have moments of peace that passes and the dull ache of emptiness returns. I pray for the weight to be lifted, but it never goes away. The death of my marriage like the death of your brother will haunt me till the Lord sees fit to change my circumstances. I continue to surrender and ask that He would use my pain to be a help and a comfort to those traveling this path with me. I love Clint and you and continue to pray for all of you.

  3. Kathy Coryell says:

    Oh my sister, your grief blog will be a sweet blossom of comfort to many on their personal journey through the desert land of loss, sorrow and pain. May the Lord bless and keep you and give you strength for each new day. Love you “Cloverleaf sister.”

  4. kelley says:

    love you penny….nate and i are here for you …we know whats like to have grief as you know when we lost our daughter Joy Ann….she would be one next month and as that day gets closer my heart breaks more and sorry you are going through this..thoughts and prayers with you and Clint always. love you and God bless

  5. charlene says:

    Love you like a sister. There’s a connection to you I can’t really explain, part of it is gratitude. Gratitude for the difference you made in my life; in my marriage. Admiration is another part of my connection to you. Your courage to speak the truth no matter what it may do to your image, your reputation, is admirable. I can think of only a few people I’ve known that I consider to be noble. You are a noble woman. I’m so sorry you’re hurting and I promise to keep praying God’s comfort and strength for you.

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